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Here I am!

This is the post excerpt.

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So…I’ve done it. I’ve taken the advice of a good friend and decided to blog my experiences with my chronic illness, mental health issues and share my random, sometimes shitty, sometimes bloody brilliant thoughts on it all. 

The journey through my chronic illness and pain diagnoses is ongoing. Sometimes its like a massive struggle, like walking through quicksand. Other times I’m more accepting and can have a giggle and joke about it all. Sometimes thats the only thing that saves my sanity.

So a couple of quick notes. 

I’m Kellie, I have sero negative arthropathy (rheumatoid arthritis), neuropathy (chronic pain), degenerating spinal discs and the start of osteoarthritis in my spine. I also have Generalized anxiety disorder, depression and bouts of agoraphobia. 

I know what you’re thinking, I’m a lucky bugger aren’t I?! 😂 I won the lottery on health conditions!! What I can say is, I’m not the sum of my illness or diagnoses. Every day is a battle but also a gift.

I hope you’ll follow my blog. I hope you’ll put up with the days when I’m moaning about my sore knees or back. I hope you’ll giggle when I tell you the stupid thoughts that pop into my brain at times. I hope you’ll bear with me when I disappear at difficult times. 

Mostly, I just hope you get a little insight into what a person living with chronic illness goes through.

Anywho, the meds are calling my name. 

Later taters xx 

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Hurrah, CBT is completed! 

I’m a day late posting, so sue me. 

But seriously, I was too busy bumbling about yesterday, getting weighed, getting random shit done that I totes forgot to blog. Anyway, I’m here now. Good news is, I ditched a bit more weight. Back to 3 Stone loss, (3st 0.5 to be exact 😉). Only another 2.5st to go 😂 !! 

This week has been better. Pain is there but I’m coping. There are odd moments that it gets the better of me and on those occasions I try to distract myself somehow, like reading a book. Sometimes I even get a chance of some alone time and I bathe, primp and relax with classic FM and light some candles. Unfortunately, that’s a rare occurrence, lol. 

I’ve weaned myself off the Gabapentin. The GP had left it to me to increase the dosage slowly and see if I could stand the side effects. Turns out, I can’t. So they’re history. Back to the GP soon to try Pregablin. Another medication tried, another medication that my body rejects. Oh well, shit happens. 
Mentally, I’m feeling lighter. The sun shining is helping fo’sure. Who doesn’t love a bit of sun? I think my top up of CBT has helped bring clarity and I’ve accepted that I have an anxiety order and thats that. I’ve just learned how to manage it, live with it better. I’m “Happy” with that. 

I suppose this week I’m all about positivity. Mostly. 

After the awful events in Manchester, it seems disrespectful to not try to see the best in every single day. Lives were cut short. Very short in some cases. I won’t go into my thoughts and feelings about fundamentalism etc, this blog isn’t about that. I will just say my thoughts and love will always be with the victims of any atrocity, regardless of race, colour, creed. We owe it to them to try find a way through it all and to Peace. 

Every single moment…whether they’re painful, achey, tearful, twitchy, over-heated, tired, chronically ill moments, are all precious. Enjoy them, live them. Because others can’t. 

Anywho, signing off…

Xx

A mixed bag…

This week has been a marathon. 

Feel totally exhausted and like I’ve been through the mill. Every day feels different, there is no planning for the next day as you can never foresee exactly how you’re going to feel. 

Yesterday I was determined. Fired up to “get things done”, and I did. I cooked, I tidied, I did washing. I felt accomplished, I love that sense of achievement. 

Today, nothing. I’m up for nothing. 

Woke up to get the teen ready for school, then swiftly passed out when she’d gone. Now its a couple of hours past midday and I’m curled up on the sofa, a pile of meds next to me and a bottle of water for sipping. I know I have to go and prepare lunch but my body and sheer fatigue is saying no. I will do it, just not yet. 

I know I shouldn’t “apologize” for being low or in pain but I will. I’m sorry my first proper post is a crappy, pain filled blurb.

Anywho, onwards and upwards right?! Gotta keep on keeping on because the good days make the bad days bearable. 

I’ll wish you all a good week, see you back here, next Monday, sometime around midday. Hopefully I’ll be smiling!

Laters. xx